I've been thinking about writing about this topic for a long time, but now, that one of my most loved person left Earth, I decided to put my thoughts into words. I love you grandma.
I was talking to one of my male friend about relationships and strength and several other topics, and he had a comment, that really made me think about men's strength.
He said the door for letting people go is widely open, but letting people in is a tiny little gap (also, he has a girlfriend, but he is sleeping around constantly - he does not have a family to feed).
First of all, I don't understand what is the point to be in a relationship, if you are not in love, but that's one thing....but, what I don't get is, why he has only a small gap to let people in:
-"So, you never let yourself fall in love?" - I asked
-"Hmm. Not really." - he answered
-"But why not? Then why are you with your girl?" - I continued
-"She is like my best friend, but sex is boring" - he answered
My question here are the following:
Why do you waste her time, if you don't have the intention to ever make it serious?
Why do you waste YOUR time with her, if you don't have the intention to ever make it serious?
Why do you have a small gap to let people in and a wide one to let people go?
My answer is: fear. You fear to be alone, you fear to let people in.
What is fear? Weakness.
You can be the smartest, physically strongest person, if emotionally you're weak.
Then I thought to myself...in my 34 years of existence I never met any male, who is, as strong as me. On the other hand, I know several emotionally strong women.
Let me clarify this a bit here. Being emotionally strong does not mean, you do not have feelings, or that you shut down your heart. It means no matter how many times you get hurt or what changes are ahead of you, you always stand up, and you always give the benefit of the doubt to others. Not because of their sake, but because of your own sake. You want to keep that door open - not everyone is an asshole, not everyone is a piece of shit.. and also...why do you want to punish your next relationship for the previous person's/your own mistakes.
I've been beaten up by my emotions a million times, I've spent days in bed after a bad break up or the hardships of life, but I ALWAYS stood up and brushed everything off.
No matter what changes came into my life (relationship, changing work, lifestyle, move to different countries), I always recovered quickly.
Maybe by now, I stand up even faster, but it was always in my nature to be strong.
Why is it, that women are stronger, than men?
Us women, are trained to deal with our emotions, because we have periods every month - I'm not joking, that mf is a pain in the ass. You need to have a lot of self-control, to stop yourself of not chocking anyone around you in some of those days.
Then for some of us children come along and that requires loads of patience and selfless behavior. I do not have any children, but I can see, what my friends have to deal with on a daily basis.
Why is it, that men are weaker, than women?
It is simply in our genetics to be emotionally strong. Men are programmed to spread their seeds around, women are programmed to take care of their offspring. Men, never have to deal with their periods, nor with the crazy amount of hormones, the female body produces whilst pregnant. Then, on top of this, most of the time, it is the woman, who takes care of the emotional need of their children, not the man. So women are not just required to deal with their own crap, but also with their children's crap too (obviously there are some men, who do the same, but be real - it is mostly the women).
I'm turning lesbian.
No, jokes aside. I am a true born Domme, because Us, women, are all Dommes. Just some of Us believe it, some of Us do not.
Also, I want to mention two of my best friends, who proved to be extremely strong, since I know them. "O" is a single mum, entrepreneur, fellow Dominatrix. She's a badass, crazy strong female, who had loads of childhood traumas, but cared to self-develop into her better self and chose the path of growth, even though she manages her family, pays all her bills and still, has no fear to say goodbye to any powerful man being in her life, even if it would be easier to get them to marry her, so she can sit on her ass doing nothing.
"A" is a world traveler, extremely open and awesome girl, who never feared to move on from one country to another in the search for better life. She always managed to financially support her parents and little sister, even, when she did not have enough for herself. And she was always an understanding friend, she ALWAYS stood behind me, no matter what decision I brought, even if she did not agree with it.